8 - Mess Hall Madness

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[Friday, May 13, 2163]

[Location Undisclosed > Butterscotch Headquarters > Section L > Delivery Entrance 2 > 11:29]

Allison followed Emilia, who was dragging Conrad across the ground like a sack of potatoes. She dropped him in front of a dumpster and started searching in the bag that Jessica handed her earlier. Donning a grin half mischievous and half sadistic, Emilia took out fuzzy handcuffs and locked them around Conrad’s ankles. She then took out a large cucumber and a jar of peanut butter. After dipping one end of the cucumber in the jar she left it on the ground beside him and then spread more peanut butter on his face and swiftly pulled his pants down to his knees.

She glanced at Allison “You wanna give him a swift kick in the ass? Normally, I’d do it, but since you had to deal with his shit for two days in a row, I thought you should do the honors.”

“Uhm, I appreciate the consideration, but I don’t think it’s alright to beat a restrained and unconscious man like that. Consent is important.”

“Suit yourself. Just know that if you were in a similar situation, he’d probably find some horrible way to kill you or something. We’re showing him a degree of mercy… for his physical well-being at least.” Emilia took out her phone as she spoke, snapped a picture, and sent it.

“Who did you send that to?”

“Rinoa. She has access to all social media networks and can post anonymously so it wouldn't even be traced back to me.” Emilia then deleted the image and stomped Conrad’s rump with the heel of her boot. She then turned to head inside and paused, spotting a person. Allison followed her gaze and her blood ran cold.

“We’re not in trouble… are we?”

In response, Emilia simply waved “Hi Nicel. Here for lunch?”

Allison gave the newcomer another look. He felt strangely familiar, though she couldn’t quite place where she knew him from. She was only certain that she had not met him in person.

The man in question, with neat dirty blonde hair and a chef’s hat, had appeared, flanked by 2 cats. “Oui je suis. Oh, what do we have here?” He gestured in the direction of Conrad, attempting to stifle a laugh. 

Allison withheld her surprise. He seemed even more familiar now, but she was absolutely sure she’d never met him.

“Conrad, as per usual,” Emilia continued, oblivious to Allison’s musings.

“Would you like me to have him… removed?”

Emilia smiled sweetly, “Could you please? Oh, and this is our new recruit, Allison. Do go easy on the spice.”

Allison raised an eyebrow, “But I LOVE spicy food!”

Nicel’s eyes opened wide and a smile crept across his face, “I think we shall be great friends!” He then turned and looked at one of the cats. “We need some garbage taken out.” He gestured toward Conrad and the cat looked at him in confusion, before stopping and licking its fur. Nicel shrugged and turned his attention back toward the girls. “Try not to be late.” He then walked off, into the adjacent building.

“Oh, right, lunchtime! Let’s go!” She turned on her heels and headed back inside, leaving Allison hurrying to follow.

“Wait, are we just going to leave him there?!”

“Nicel just said he’d take care of it, didn’t he?”

Allison gave Emilia an incredulous stare, “He was talking TO A CAT!”

[Monday, May 16, 2163]

[Location Undisclosed > Butterscotch Headquarters > Section L > Mess Hall > 11:36]

Allison and Emilia followed behind Nicel as he rounded the corner of a small building. The only indication of the building's purpose was an image of a crossed knife and fork on an otherwise simple and unassuming door. She glanced up above the door to see that there was likely once a sign that said “Mess Hall”, but for reasons unbeknownst to her, it was nowhere to be seen, as only the outline of the letters remained.

Allison looked around the room, which was once a full-scale cafeteria. There were multiple serving lines, but only 1 of them was used. Farther down, there were signs of fixtures being removed, matching those of the other serving lines. The fixtures in that area had been replaced by a bar with 3 barstools. A noticeable number of tables were put away, folded, stacked, or otherwise depending on their construction, into a corner of the room. Allison found the sheer variety of tables odd in and of itself. In addition, LED lighting which felt out of place in a cafeteria could be seen hanging throughout the room.

Two things were obvious at this point: The room was far too large given the size of the team, and this room had been modified for reasons Allison could only speculate. She stole a glance at Emilia who simply shrugged, “Used to be for more people. Now it’s just ours.”

They found themselves in line behind Michelle, who continued, “Remember, our team doesn't play nice… with itself, let alone other teams. This entire section of the base has been designated as our prison playground. Since it’s ours, we turned it into a bit more of a functional facility.”

“OK, so then what about maintenance?”

“Any work that needs doing by other teams is done on a rotating basis, with members being cycled through each team every so often. This mostly applies to team Kappa, who are the cooks, as our team doesn't have anyone assigned who was formerly on that team. That being said, somehow Nicel ends up cooking for us more than others.”

“Don’t you just have AI cook?”

Nicel glared at Allison from the other side of the serving line “Their food has no soul, no love, and little time. It is not worth eating.”

“But… isn’t it more accurate and stuff?”

Nicel nodded. “It is. But what it isn’t is understanding. It will not pick up on nuances in certain ingredients, specifications of the one being served unless explicitly told, and it does not do well when something goes awry, and believe me, they do.”

Emilia jumped back into the conversation, “The only thing I might prefer AI to prepare is puffer fish. I won’t contest that level of accuracy when it comes to removing the venom sack.”

Allison balked, “We can eat puffer fish?! I mean, not that I want any, but to know that it’s an option is insane!”

Michelle shrugged, “Yeah, you can, they charge for anything rare or difficult to make though, and complicated dishes should be requested in advance. I think there was a two-day notice on pufferfish.

Nicel shook his head, “It is 36 hours, but please don’t. I hate preparing pufferfish.”

Emilia raised an eyebrow, “Couldn’t someone else just do it, or have an AI do it?”

Nicel scoffed, “You really do have a modicum of faith in other agents. Oh, that reminds me, avoid the first section of offerings and the last.”

Allison looked at the food curiously, “Why? It all looks delicious.”

Nicel puffed out his chest. “Simple, it is one of the reasons you don’t have an AI chef. Over half of the ingredients used in those dishes, which were provided by Kappa, are unfit for eating, or quite close to it. Rancid flour, old oils, ‘cultured’ sauces. Things that would make your time after lunch… shall we say… misérable. The last section are things that were sent from other teams, which were likely in some way modified to be… unsafe. It would likely be more dangerous to eat those dishes than the ones prepared with old ingredients.”

Allison stood still, clearly with a multitude of questions. Michelle intercepted, exasperation evident, “Just… don’t ask. Take one of the middle options and call it a day.”

Allison gazed upon the 3 sections of food, specifically the one in the center. Familiar foods and unfamiliar delicacies, some of which looked appetizing and others felt ominous once scrutinized. She finally responded. “So, what do you suggest? I’m starving!” She didn’t bother waiting for a response and started loading her plate with chicken pasta from the middle section.

Out of the corner of her eye, Allison saw the return of Emilia’s mischievous grin. She reflexively gulped and waited for Emilia’s next action as she filled her plate.

Emilia’s response made Allison sigh in relief. “Exactly how hungry are you?” This was being said while Emilia was trying to steal a piece of chicken using her fork.

Her reaching hand encountered a fork stabbed with considerable force. Allison glared at her “Hungry enough. Trying to snatch my food is a bad idea, prisoner or not.”

Emilia looked at her left hand, which had a broken finger. Her eyes widened. “I’ll keep that in mind. This hand is supposed to be able to take bullets and you ducked it up with a fork.“If you aren’t taking a shower or sleeping, you’re probably snacking, so who knows? Is this a challenge?”

“Only if you take it as one.” Emilia’s provocative smirk showed an unshakable confidence in her victory over whatever challenge was being proposed.

“And what if I do?” Allison met Emilia’s gaze head-on, one of her canines poking out devilishly from behind her lips. The rest of the team, save Jessica who was still completing her evaluation, and Bubba, who Allison had yet to be seen at all, stared as sparks flashed between the two women.

Michelle glanced at Nicel, utterly unphased by the building tension, “Can you do it?”

Nicel nodded, “But of course, though I will need some help. Give me 15 minutes.”

Allison raised an eyebrow, “I’m still getting food, right…?”

Nicel nodded in affirmation and then gestured to the closest empty table. Allison took a seat at the large round table. Emilia sat opposite her. Michelle sat between them.

The trio of ladies glanced over at the galley at Nicel’s receding back. Michelle shrugged, “I wasn’t expecting entertainment today. Make it good Jerico!”

Nicel turned and nodded.

Allison turned her gaze to Michelle, “Two questions: Who is Jerico? and what’s coming?”

Michelle answered the first one. "Jerico is Nicel's first name. Spellcheck hates his last name. It keeps trying to correct it, so I usually refer to him by his first name. I called him by his last name since you all were doing it."

Allison looked at her in complete incomprehension. Michelle simply shrugged as if it could not be helped.

Emilia answered the second question. “As for what's coming, its the food you seem so desperate for.”

[Friday, May 13, 2163]

[Butterscotch HQ > Section L > Mess Hall > 13:06]

The sound of the triangle being violently spooned made everyone, aside from the chefs, stop and glance in its direction. The LED lighting in the room transitioned to a light shade of red, not hampering visibility, but also changing the mood to something more ominous and aggressive.

The female chef and the one Mateus each walked out holding a serving tray. Mateus stopped before Allison, and the female chef stopped before Emilia. Emilia looked up at her and smiled, “Hi Blanc. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Blanc nodded in affirmation, returning the smile, “Hello. It has indeed been a while. Things have been rather busy as of late.” Both Blanc and Mateus sat their trays on the table in front of Emilia and Allison before returning to the kitchen.

Allison’s nervous gaze circled the room as she noticed that essentially everyone was looking at the occupants of her table. She looked at Mateus, who simply tilted his head towards Sam.

Nicel took the triangle and spoon from Sam who cleared his throat. He spoke in an announcer-like voice. “Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness the second-ever CHOW-DOWN CHALLENGE to be held within team Lambda’s domain!

The objective is simple: The first person to finish the full-course menu wins. If neither participant can finish, the person determined to have eaten the most will be crowned the winner!

You lose if you throw up, pass out, or leave the table for any reason that is not considered an emergency. You may also forfeit at any time.

You will be served four courses: Soup, salad, entree, and dessert. All dishes have been measured to equivalent portions. You will have three choices per course.” Sam cleared his throat again. “I knew I shouldn’t have had that ice cream earlier.” He then tapped the table with an access badge and deftly pulled up a list of the rules. 

Allison glanced over them and poked the table at one of two empty checkboxes. Emilia did the same, but the button would not fill. Emilia rolled her eyes and her index finger opened up. Beneath the hole that Allison knew to be a gun barrel, a stylus appeared. Emilia once again poked the checkbox, giving her confirmation of the rules. Emilia then looked at her misshapen finger, attempting to open and close her fingers. All except for the index finger moved as she wished. She glanced at Emilia, “Gimme my hand.”

Allison paused for a moment, then nodded as the realization hit her. She pulled Emilia’s hand, the same one she’d used for the earlier evaluation, out of her pocket and handed it across the table. Emilia took it and swiftly swapped the appendages as easily as one would switch from one pair of glasses to another.

Michelle looked at each of the contestants. “If you need to use the bathroom, now is the time.” Allison and Emilia looked at each other, nodded, and left, returning a few moments later. Upon their return, they were each presented 

Sam gave them serious expressions as they sat down. “Are you ready?” After they each nodded. Michelle tied large cloth napkins around each participant’s neck like a bib, even though Allison’s prison jumpsuit didn't require nor pair well with such niceties.

Sam then raised a hand in the air dramatically, and with the best Mortal Kombat impression he could muster, swiftly lowered his hand: “Course 1! Eat!” Jerico gently rang the triangle as Sam finished speaking.


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